• Worry Worry

    Date: 2011.08.01 | Category: Baby, Family, Health, Me, Sarah | Tags:

    No one ever told me that becoming a mom would come with so much worry. Maybe Probably because I’m a first time mom I freak out about everything. When Sarah had a rash, I panicked and took her in to the doctor’s office immediately. For the first few weeks of her life, I barely slept, and not just because she was waking up, but because I felt like I needed to watch her to make sure she was still breathing.

    And now, after less than two full weeks of daycare, Sarah has her first head cold.

    I knew she wasn’t feeling right when she slept at daycare all day Thursday. Normally she will take one or two hour long naps, if that, at daycare. But they had to wake her up to feed her after three hours of snoozing.

    I took her home and realized she was running a low-grade fever. And then it happened, she choked on her snot that was running down her throat. I panicked, stuck my finger down her throat, she gagged, coughed up a bunch of nasty stuff and started breathing again. The whole thing lasted 5-10 seconds, but felt like forever. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking. I called the pediatrician’s office. They gave me some tips on preventing it from happening again.

    We went to see the doctor Friday morning and unfortunately there isn’t a whole lot they can do. Her fever broke, but she continues to gag until she pukes at regular intervals. I feel so bad for her. I wish her little self knew how to blow her nose. I’ve never felt so helpless in my entire life. I wish I could take it from her.

    Because of the choking, I’m a nervous wreck. My past few nights have been like those first few nights where I wake up every hour to make sure she’s not choking. Fortunately, between the booger sucker, the humidifier and elevated sleeping, she is getting plenty of rest at night. Unfortunately, eating stimulates the gag reflex, so I have been puked on many many times over the past five days.

    I know it will get better, but I can’t shake the feeling that I need to be there taking care of her throughout all of this and I just can’t miss any more work. Mark is home with her this morning, and she is well enough to go back to daycare, but I just worry that someone won’t be at her side if she starts choking again.

    Worry. Worry. Worry.

    How do you moms do it?