• A Day for Me

    Date: 2014.06.07 | Category: Books, Family, Home, Leela Fish, Life, Me, OMG YAY! | Tags:

    I am going to give you some insight into the brain of a mother of young children who is also an introvert.

    First, let me start by telling you how much I love my children (as if you didn’t already know by the overwhelming number of photographs and posts about them on my blog, Facebook, Instagram, etc). I love playing with them, doing things for them,  listening to them and laughing with them. But there are many days when bedtime comes around that I am counting down the moments until I can climb into bed, or sit in front of my computer and have some time to myself. That’s how I regenerate: quiet, alone time.

    This also creates a great force of guilt within myself. Because I work full time, I feel like my time with my children is somewhat limited and I need to soak it all up when I get it. And while the thought of some time to myself is intoxicating, it also makes me feel guilty for wanting to spend any free time I have away from my girls. (Side note: maybe this would be remedied if Sarah napped, but she gave that up well over a year ago).

    So, when Mark suggested bringing the girls out to his parents house for one whole Saturday, I experienced the immediate mixed feeling of guilt and excitement. But, I know his parents love playing with them and hanging out with them, so that made the decision much easier. And when loading the girls up in the car to go out to their house, Sarah told me to get out of the car so they could go. That also made me feel…  slightly jilted? better? relieved?

    I will say this, when they pulled out of the driveway, a big part of me wanted to go skipping through the house singing. So much time ahead of me and I had it all to myself. There was no one watching or judging me; no one pulling me in another direction. I was overwhelmed and didn’t know where to begin. I immediately thought about taking a nap, but then figured that would take up way to much of my alone time and quickly discarded that idea.

    Instead, I changed into some comfortable clothes and took the dogs on a long walk through the neighborhood, enjoyed the sunshine and listened to an audiobook that I love.

    Other things I did because I could:
    1. Ate a Counter Culture Humphrey for lunch while I watched So You Think You Can Dance.
    2. Went to Barnes and Noble and flipped through a book I’ve been really wanting, The Art of Neil Gaiman, only to get frustrated and put it down when I learned they don’t honor their own website’s prices (what the heck B&N?).
    3. Shopped at Old Navy unhindered and bought all things for myself (except some much needed socks for the girls).
    4. Went to the grocery store and bought the following: $5 sunglasses, sunscreen, popsicles and a soft drink.
    5.  Laid out a giant towel in the backyard, put on the sunscreen and read a book while sipping my drink for over an hour.
    6. Cooled down inside afterwards while still reading.
    7. Took a long shower (with no one interrupting me!)
    8.  Ordered the book I wanted off of B&N’s website with a gift card I had (and free shipping).

    Things I did not do because I didn’t want to:
    1. Laundry
    2. Clean
    3. Grocery shop

    And the day isn’t over! In a little bit the girls will be home for the evening and I will shower them in hugs and kisses. We will settle into our usual routine of dinner, bath and bed time. But then, I’m going to put away my introvert shoes, and go out for a girls night for a friend’s birthday. It’s been… years? since I’ve managed something like that. So here’s to a quiet day all for me, followed by drinks and what is sure to be an evening of laughter.

    And guess what? I don’t feel all that guilty after all.