• Life’s Surprises

    Date: 2013.09.17 | Category: Baby, Family, Friends, Health, Home, Life, Me, Sarah, Work | Tags:

    This is my last week of work before baby arrives. Some people have made it clear that they think I should be at home by now… I guess sitting around and waiting on baby? True, last time the week before baby arrived I was home, but that was only because I landed myself with a terrible upper respiratory infection.  This time I’ve opted to keep on going. After all, the only thing I’d be doing at home is sitting around, staring at my feet and making myself even more anxious. Maybe baking. I’ve been doing a lot of that to relieve pre-baby anxiousness. But then I would eat all the baking too.

    Plus, I have a mostly desk job and I’d rather be sitting around doing something, keeping my mind off of things and earning a paycheck.

    I’ve been surprised by how much pre-baby anxiety I’ve been facing this time. But it’s not about what you would think. I’m not worried at all about having another baby or bringing baby home. I’ve done that before. I have every confidence that I can do that again, and hopefully better this time.

    Instead I’ve been waking up at 3 am worrying about the financial implications of having another baby, work while I’m out and how Sarah will do when I bring baby home – and how she’s going to be while we’re at the hospital for that matter. I also worry about the actual process of the c-section and pray that my mind will be in a good place that day.

    Yesterday was the hangover from one such night. I got to work tired and anxious and had trouble focusing on everything. The work day slowly clicked into place though, and I went about tying up lose ends and settling into the daily rhythm, focusing on other things.

    On my lunch break I went to the police station and collected the police report on my car accident and learned, much to my great relief, that the other driver did have car insurance. I’m not sure what all it will cover health bill wise, but it will definitely cover all the damage to my car. We will wait and see what happens now.

    After lunch I learned that our magazine had been recognized in a national newspaper again – this time for a story I wrote on some local kids who went to World Youth Day in Brazil! That gave my spirits a huge lift and the great boost in confidence I needed.

    And then, at the end of the day, something really amazing happened. I can’t go into all the details here, but through the kindness of people I work with, one in particular, I learned that I will not have to stress about finances during the course of my maternity leave. This is the biggest blessing I could have ever hoped for. I teared up and felt a huge weight slide off my shoulders. Suddenly, I could breathe again and move forward during the last week of my pregnancy with one of the anxiety balls that’s been sitting in my stomach gone.

    Not to be outdone, after work, both of my sisters came by to return my jogging stroller. And while I was fixing dinner, they took it upon themselves to clean up my living room.

    It’s days like yesterday that really open my eyes to how really and truly blessed I am by God and the people in my life.

    Now, today we try to do something about Sarah’s hair twirling problem that has spiraled out of control.

    Six more days.